You may be wondering if this is a post about how to parent a strong-willed child, or how to parent in a way that fosters strength and independence. The answer is both. This is for parents with kids of all different personalities. With these parenting tips, you can pick and choose what makes the most sense for your child and your family.
If you have a strong-willed or stubborn kid, these tips will help you to work with your child instead of against them. On the other hand, if you have a passive, shy kid, these tips will help you create an environment where they can grow and become more confident in their own abilities. Either way, you get to choose which ones you use, and how you use them. Be creative, and have fun with it!
Important message about parenting tips: No matter how good the parenting tips, they may not be for you and your child. These parenting tips serve as a starting point – something to get you thinking. In the end, do what’s best for you, your child, and your family.
14 Parenting Tips:
1. Encourage them to listen to their bodies.
We want our kids to grow up to be adults who listen to their bodies to support a healthy lifestyle. How will they learn to do that if we, as parents, tell them what to do all the time? Sure we can make suggestions and help guide them. However, we also want them to learn how to respond to the cues their bodies give them.
Let the little ones take their coats off in “cold” weather. If they stop eating and say they are full, let them be done. They don’t actually have to finish the last bite (even if it is more convenient for us). Instead, they just have to understand and consider when the next meal will be available to them.
2. Communicate openly with them.
The key word here is with, not to. Communicate openly with them. This is one of those parenting tips that poses more of a challenge when parents are tired or in a hurry. However, it’s extra important. Talk to them about what they want and why. Really listen to what they have to say. Try to understand things from their point of view. How else can parents make appropriate decisions?
3. Set things up for them to be successfully independent.
Better than having kids rely on an adult for things like food, support them in learning how to get their own food and clean up after themselves. Have age-appropriate do-it-yourself options available to them. Make sure to manage your expectations with the learning curve. There will likely be messes until they get the hang of it.
If you’re cringing just at the thought of this one, give it a full chance. Yes, it may take a bit more of a time and energy investment at first. However, this is one of those parenting tips that will pay off in the long run.
4. Drop the judgement.
How much do you really care about things like what your kids wear? Sure the miss-matched, crazy outfit may not be exactly what you had in mind, but it’s still picture perfect. Don’t let yourself and your parenting decisions be influenced by what other people may think, or what other kids wear or do. Your child is their own person with unique preferences and needs. Allowing them to try things and find their own way (within reason) will set a strong foundation for future growth.
5. Manage your own emotions and stress.
This is a three-fold parenting tip. First, parents make far better decision when calm and relaxed. Consider interactions when people are on edge verses when they are happy. Need I say more?
Second, kids tend to reflect back the emotions and stress levels of the people around them. When moms are super stressed, kids sense it. They become uncomfortable. Their stress levels increase. Then they act out. Conversely, calm moms are calming to kids.
Third, when kids see parents managing stress and emotions they see how to do it themselves. When moms tell their kids they need a break to calm down, and then do it, kids store that memory for later. Eventually, they will be able to recognize when they need to step away to calm themselves.
6. Be compassionate and patient.
Growing up isn’t always fun and games. Sometimes, it can be downright hard. Think about it. When was the last time you learned a new skill? How did you feel the last time you experienced a new challenge? Was it a complete walk in the park? So much of what kids are doing and experiencing as they grow up is completely new to them. The start by learning how to eat and walk. Then school and other activities are a whole new world. When they’re older, social encounters and relationship dynamics may throw them off. Remember that next time they throw a fit over something seemingly trivial. It may be a really big deal to them.
7. Check your own self-consciousness.
Are you ever concerned about what other people think? Don’t worry, it’s natural. What’s more, a lot of parenting tips increase pressure on parents to do things a certain way. Conversely, this is all about doing things your way, the way that is best for your child and family. You don’t have to do things the way other parents do things. All of us can be right in our differences – for our own families. Don’t let your own self-doubt influence the way you parent your kids. You know them best, and you are in the best position to make these choices. You’ve got this!
8. Reduce the pressure.
As parents, we tend to have ideas of how we want our kids to act and live. Basically, we create a manual for them to follow. Lose the manual. Understand that while you can guide them and make the rules, they are real people. They can make their own choices, and they will. This is a good thing! It’s way better for them to learn to make their own choices when they are young and have your protection. The unexpected thing is that when you accept that they will make their own choices it reduced the pressure for them and for you.
9. Accept the learning curve.
When kids learn to make their own choices, there is a serious learning curve. It’s messy, literally. There will be some bumps in the road, some way bigger than others. That’s just part of growing up. Life for parents becomes a lot easier when they embrace it. I know, this is another one of those parenting tips that is easier said than done. Try anyway, and it will get easier.
10. Think outside the box for solutions.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for all those parenting challenges. Sorry, I know, I tried to find it, too. So much of this stuff is trial and error, especially because every parent and every child is different. Be creative. Look at all those challenges as opportunities to grow with your child. You really can build stronger bonds by working together to come up with solutions.
11. Use positive talk about them, yourself, and the world.
Encourage them, tell them they can do it, be positive, remain flexible, and adjust as they grow. The words you use to them and around them become part of the vocabulary they use with themselves. Speak to and about yourself the same way you want to speak to and about them – positively. They will learn more from what you do than what you say. If you tell them not to give up on their dreams, don’t give up on yours.
12. Don’t make a big deal of it.
Things will not always go as planned. Actually, sometimes things will go (seemingly) very wrong. Brush it off. Don’t make it mean something bigger than it is. In reality, most of the things we stress about won’t even matter a couple years from now. I know, that generally doesn’t seem to be true in the moment. Ask yourself what good could possibly come from the tough stuff. How can you use it as an opportunity to grow together?
13. Draw the line somewhere.
A lot of these parenting tips are flexible. They lean toward letting kids figure things out themselves. That certainly doesn’t mean there are no rules or boundaries. Make boundaries and then follow through with them (unless you consciously decide to change them because they are no longer serving you, your kids, and the family). Setting boundaries and not sticking to them can be worse than not setting them at all. That is, unless you explain to the child why you are changing your mind or not following through on a special occasion. Try to decide ahead of time which boundaries are flexible so you don’t end up all over the place in the moment.
14. Teach them to feel their emotions and manage their stress.
Sometimes it’s easier to tell kids to behave or stop reacting in a certain way. The problem with this is that kids often “misbehave” when they are learning to process their emotions. By telling them to stop, we are essentially telling them to suppress their emotions. Suppressing emotions is not healthy. Showing compassion can help them to move through the emotion and stop the unwanted behaviors without suppressing emotions. Along the same lines, managing stress throughout the day can help them to process emotions more efficiently.
Bonus Parenting Tip: Let them have a seat at the table.
Ask for their opinions and thoughts, and then have discussions with them. Encourage them to develop and practice their negotiation skills, even if that means you have to give in when they come out on top. Remember, that’s what you want – for them to be able to analyze and communicate what they want or need and why. It’s not always ideal or what you want in the moment, but it will serve them throughout life.
What if I’m struggling with the parenting tips?
Change isn’t always easy. Especially if these ideas are completely new or different from how we grew up, it could be a big challenge. It’s also an opportunity to grow as a person and parent along with the child. Try to be patient with yourself and have compassion for yourself. It’s okay to sit with the ideas before implementing them. If you want to make changes but feel unsure or stressed about it, I’m available for support. Click here to learn how I can help you through the process.
What if the parenting tips don’t work?
When parenting tips don’t “work” there can be a lot of different reasons. Sometimes it’s the delivery. Perhaps it’s not right for a given situation or family. Or, it could just take more time for everyone to get used to the shift. Be patient, and keep trying things until you find what works best. Reassess and make changes as needed. If you continue to struggle, make sure to get support. Parenting doesn’t have to be alone.
Summary of the 14 Parenting Tips:
- Encourage them to listen to their bodies.
- Communicate openly with them.
- Set things up for them to be successfully independent.
- Drop the judgement.
- Manage your own emotions and stress.
- Be compassionate and patient.
- Check your own self-consciousness.
- Reduce the pressure.
- Accept the learning curve.
- Think outside the box for solutions.
- Use positive talk about them, yourself, and the world.
- Don’t make a big deal of it.
- Draw the line somewhere.
- Teach them to feel emotions and manage stress.
Bonus parenting tip: Let them have a seat at the table.
Looking for more than just parenting tips?
I would love to support you one-on-one to help you and your kids thrive together. Click here to learn more.
Looking for more parenting tips and information?
You can find more blog posts about parenting here.
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: 14 Things I Love About the Holidays by Jessica Weaver
www.rootedunrooted.com/blog/the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year
14 Lessons Learned in My First Decade of Motherhood by Amy Cobb
https://www.tayloredintent.com/blog/14-lessons-learned-in-my-first-decade-of-motherhood
14 Truths about Love by Sharla Hallett
www.sharlahallett.com/14-truths-about-love/
Fourteen Adjectives to Cultivate in Kids by Jessica Haberman
https://storytellerfarm.com/fourteen-adjectives-to-cultivate-in-kids/
Recent Comments